Mike Posner soothed my ears with his electropop. I was several steps close to home when this man approached me. He told me that there were men here that touched the boobs of a certain girl, he wants me to identify a man in a picture,I came along with him a few blocks away from, and we were with another guy whom he also called to identify the picture. The other guy went somewhere first with the older man and I was left with another man (so there were four of us.) I started to feel nervous. The two men came back. My turn....
+++
Last night, or technically, this very early morning, I had lunch with the two people that I have been hanging out with a lot this year: Taylor and Gabby. We were kind of overwhelmed of how this year had gone for us. But it sure was a huge turning point in my case. I start to remember all the challenges, the ups and downs that I have gone through this year.
The earliest memory that I could recall is the break up I had. It was a bad break up and it even had its own issues that surfaced as something "telegenic" (which in here, I could translate as a perfect screenplay for a Gossip Girl episode---or wait, that's too preppy.. Let's say, Jersey Shore! Haha!). We got along (my ex and I) after a few months of bitterness and I'm glad to say I have moved on.
I resigned as a teacher and now I started working as an online tutor at a Korean company. Pretty much I could say that this work is a good experience for me. The change I have though is having to go to work in the afternoon and go home in the evening. Oh, and I work at the 23rd floor! Easy access for rappelling!
But when I got that call for this job, that was the day I got a call from my dad to hurry to the hospital. My mom bid farewell. It was one of the saddest points in my life; to have the person who has inspired you a lot to leave. The consolation is that she does not have to suffer anymore. And I'm proud to say that I have shown her a lot of achievements already when she was still alive.
Mating season was in the air and my friends have their bellies bulging due to presents given by the Almighty. This is the reason why in our Circle, only the three of us are left with a lot of hang outs. How we miss the old days. Well, everyone, if you want to enjoy your youth a little longer, just KEEP "IT" SAFE!!
Finding someone whom I admire the most is also part of my year-ender. We're in very good terms and I am hoping that we continue to become better the coming year.... years! Hehe... This person almost represent the totality of the kind of person I would bow down to. Even now, already, I am head over feet!
The drama I had with this certain "lover," becoming an optimist, parties, messing up a little with my ex's new boyfriend, parties, Molino trips, Arashi fan gathering, parties, meeting my PM shift family, parties, being surrounded like a celebrity by former students, buying a lot of new clothes, parties, being threatened to be killed by a man with a bolo, parties, watching a movie alone, parties, performing on top of a table, parties, dancing onstage in a bar, parties.... 2010 sure was a hell of a ride for me. The start was not nice but I spent more than half of the latter part of the year rocking life out. But to think about it, WHERE WAS THE THRILL? They are not enough. I am looking forward to a more exciting and daring year in 2011. May it not be just as thrilling as peeing in the shower.
+++
"Give me your phone," said the man, "the "sargeant" might think that you're one of those men because they seemed rich. You should not let him see that you look rich."
Okay! I thought. It's all your sucko! You deserve it! You're working pretty hard on it. May your Christmas be merry as your children and family enjoy the food and presents that went through the gates of hell. Here, have my C3 Nokia.
Okay, I did not think that way. But I could have.
"You might have some huge amount there with you. The sargeant might see it."
"Here. It's just a hundred."
"Okay, wait here. When someone approaches you, tell him that you were just asked by a man named Rey."
"Sure thing."
The man left.
After a minute... *Insert expletives here*
.
.
.
Oh well! I just bought a new C3. Let them have the old one. 2011, watch out for me.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
La Isla Bonita
"Tropical the island breeze
All of nature wild and free
This is where I long to be
La isla bonita"
How can one bungalow turn into an escape island where people can do almost everything they dream doing that is not possible in real life?
A place we would usually call only by the name of "Laguna" was an escape to reality for my Circle. It is the house of our friend Gabby where her mother and older brother live. There was a period in our lives that we would usually go there and have some fun. Fun in here means partying, playing loud or even odd music, singing, dancing, running around, dining together, having sex, kissing, shouting, yelling, and more crazy things that one could do.
Our friend Taylor is a huge fan of Madonna and there was one time that he started singing "La Isla Bonita" in the karaoke and that was when we started to dub the place as that due to the mention of the place's name which is "San Pedro." Clearly, La Isla Bonita was a place of escape, where we leave our problems at the bus station, where we do things that the society barely sees or even accepts to see, and where we be who we can be at our best. It was an island where only us existed and nothing else mattered. It was where friendship grew fonder.
Thousands of memories were created throughout our stay at the Island. Have you ever seen people yelling a lot out of only some people's arrival? Have you experienced playing a creepy song with only a candle illuminating everything when suddenly a firecracker made your friend jumped who pretended that she didn't though you witnessed her? Have you tried collecting money for drinks in a "church" way with matching lights and a church song? Have you felt and witnessed your friends doing the deed? Have you ever got caught doing the deed? Have you seen the new music videos of "Hot and Cold," "Single Ladies," "Hollywood," "Ray of Light" and so much more? Have you seen a ghost that seemed so real you just want to laugh because you know it isn't true? Have you done things that are impossible to write anymore because they are soooo crazy and soooo confidential you just can't publish them all?
"Beautiful faces, no cares in this world
Where a boy can love a boy, and a girl can love a girl"
La Isla Bonita surely was an escape paradise. We never did anything illegal, but it was a place where we were at our best, where we could do almost whatever without the pangs of the illogical common society.
How we wish we could still be there. Gabby has an issue that made her leave the place and for more than a year now, we have never gone there. But the place, I guess, still exists within us--when we gather together, have fun together, we bring La Isla Bonita with us. The friendship that grew in that place is the cause of how we are now as friends.
Still, somehow, we dream of going back to the place where everything seems so light, wild, and free.
"Last night I dreamt of San Pedro
It all seems like yesterday, not far away."
All of nature wild and free
This is where I long to be
La isla bonita"
How can one bungalow turn into an escape island where people can do almost everything they dream doing that is not possible in real life?
A place we would usually call only by the name of "Laguna" was an escape to reality for my Circle. It is the house of our friend Gabby where her mother and older brother live. There was a period in our lives that we would usually go there and have some fun. Fun in here means partying, playing loud or even odd music, singing, dancing, running around, dining together, having sex, kissing, shouting, yelling, and more crazy things that one could do.
Our friend Taylor is a huge fan of Madonna and there was one time that he started singing "La Isla Bonita" in the karaoke and that was when we started to dub the place as that due to the mention of the place's name which is "San Pedro." Clearly, La Isla Bonita was a place of escape, where we leave our problems at the bus station, where we do things that the society barely sees or even accepts to see, and where we be who we can be at our best. It was an island where only us existed and nothing else mattered. It was where friendship grew fonder.
Thousands of memories were created throughout our stay at the Island. Have you ever seen people yelling a lot out of only some people's arrival? Have you experienced playing a creepy song with only a candle illuminating everything when suddenly a firecracker made your friend jumped who pretended that she didn't though you witnessed her? Have you tried collecting money for drinks in a "church" way with matching lights and a church song? Have you felt and witnessed your friends doing the deed? Have you ever got caught doing the deed? Have you seen the new music videos of "Hot and Cold," "Single Ladies," "Hollywood," "Ray of Light" and so much more? Have you seen a ghost that seemed so real you just want to laugh because you know it isn't true? Have you done things that are impossible to write anymore because they are soooo crazy and soooo confidential you just can't publish them all?
"Beautiful faces, no cares in this world
Where a boy can love a boy, and a girl can love a girl"
La Isla Bonita surely was an escape paradise. We never did anything illegal, but it was a place where we were at our best, where we could do almost whatever without the pangs of the illogical common society.
How we wish we could still be there. Gabby has an issue that made her leave the place and for more than a year now, we have never gone there. But the place, I guess, still exists within us--when we gather together, have fun together, we bring La Isla Bonita with us. The friendship that grew in that place is the cause of how we are now as friends.
Still, somehow, we dream of going back to the place where everything seems so light, wild, and free.
"Last night I dreamt of San Pedro
It all seems like yesterday, not far away."
Monday, November 22, 2010
Robin and I
I have a lot of things that I want to achieve ever since I was young. I can do a lot of stuff: Compose songs, sing (a little,) dance (a little,) write fiction and non-fiction, draw, and some other things that people do not really care about (I just said that.)
Meet my friend Robin, a dancer. He's got looks and talent. He is already a father. He has not graduated college because of this. He is turning nineteen just a few days from now. Robin desperately needs a job but there are two things he feels that he lacks of: experience and confidence.
Meet me, Eric, who is currently hired as a proofreader of essays (they call us "Essay Writers" at work though we don't really write essays there.) I don't have a kid yet, but I really want to have one already (a son, preferably.) I am a four-year college graduate. I am 23 years old (I hate being reminded of my age, I have succeeded in forgetting about it in so many months.) I already have a job and I can say that I have a little bit of experience and confidence.
Robin hates interviews. He feels that he's got nothing to brag about or show to impress the interviewer. He fears, most especially, English. But robin really wants to have a job.
I'm nervous at interviews. But I view it as a gateway to impression. It is the time to let the employer have a glimpse of whom they will be with once they hire me. I have skills in English; it is my specialty in college. But right now, I really want to have a career.
Robin has a career. He loves to dance. He never runs out of gigs, and he does what he loves doing and at the same time, make money out of it. But that was not enough to sustain his and his family's life. That's why he needs a job badly.
I have a job. I'm happy about it, so far, because I get to earn almost enough for me and my family. But I am hoping that someday, I will be able to do something that I like doing and at the same time, earn something good from it. One of them is dancing.
I envy Robin at some point. I have always wanted to dance (it's not my biggest dream, though.) And to see Robin doing it is just something nice. I can sense that he is somehow satisfied with what he does because it is his dream to do such. It is also part of my dream.
Sometimes, I guess, people really don't know what they got already. But most of the time, people know what they need to have.
Meet my friend Robin, a dancer. He's got looks and talent. He is already a father. He has not graduated college because of this. He is turning nineteen just a few days from now. Robin desperately needs a job but there are two things he feels that he lacks of: experience and confidence.
Meet me, Eric, who is currently hired as a proofreader of essays (they call us "Essay Writers" at work though we don't really write essays there.) I don't have a kid yet, but I really want to have one already (a son, preferably.) I am a four-year college graduate. I am 23 years old (I hate being reminded of my age, I have succeeded in forgetting about it in so many months.) I already have a job and I can say that I have a little bit of experience and confidence.
Robin hates interviews. He feels that he's got nothing to brag about or show to impress the interviewer. He fears, most especially, English. But robin really wants to have a job.
I'm nervous at interviews. But I view it as a gateway to impression. It is the time to let the employer have a glimpse of whom they will be with once they hire me. I have skills in English; it is my specialty in college. But right now, I really want to have a career.
Robin has a career. He loves to dance. He never runs out of gigs, and he does what he loves doing and at the same time, make money out of it. But that was not enough to sustain his and his family's life. That's why he needs a job badly.
I have a job. I'm happy about it, so far, because I get to earn almost enough for me and my family. But I am hoping that someday, I will be able to do something that I like doing and at the same time, earn something good from it. One of them is dancing.
I envy Robin at some point. I have always wanted to dance (it's not my biggest dream, though.) And to see Robin doing it is just something nice. I can sense that he is somehow satisfied with what he does because it is his dream to do such. It is also part of my dream.
Sometimes, I guess, people really don't know what they got already. But most of the time, people know what they need to have.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Insecurity Sets In
One of the three most inevitable things in life is getting old. I am afraid of getting old so I made an oath to look young and feel young even if I reach the golden ages. But lately, insecurity sets in. We grow old, have families, lose strength... Who will be there for us during those times?
Last night, it hit me: there are only three of us in the circle left who enjoy each other's company most of the time. Most of our friends already has children, families, and partners (some don't.) And when I looked at who I was with (Gabby and Taylor,) they both have partners of their own.
Whom will I be left with?
I have loved and hurt and been loved. The last being someone I do not really love, and the first two being someone I loved (NOTE: PAST TENSE.) But can't it be that there is someone out there that I truly love, and can love me back, and can be faithful to me?
Spare me your questions about me being positive these days.. But this just hit me like a mallet that hurled 50 feet away from me and smacked right into my face big time. Don't we all deserve someone we can be with for the rest of our lives?
I used to say that I can do things alone, I can live alone, and that I do not need love to exist. But I guess Maslow is right: It's part of our necessities. I know when to stand up alone and but I know that there are times that I need someone to lean on.
I am content with my friends. But I need someone whom I can share my life with totally, who can make me feel that I'm a priority, who can be there for me all the time, who can give me that feeling that I am the only one.
Nah! Screw this. I guess there will never be a time for that. I'll die alone but I'll die with honor and greatness. I'm not going to let another cocksucker knock me off my feet only to realize that I'm part of a threesome (or foursome, or more?)
In the mean time, I'd have to enjoy me being THE ONLY ONE for myself...
Then again, comes that feeling again....
Last night, it hit me: there are only three of us in the circle left who enjoy each other's company most of the time. Most of our friends already has children, families, and partners (some don't.) And when I looked at who I was with (Gabby and Taylor,) they both have partners of their own.
Whom will I be left with?
I have loved and hurt and been loved. The last being someone I do not really love, and the first two being someone I loved (NOTE: PAST TENSE.) But can't it be that there is someone out there that I truly love, and can love me back, and can be faithful to me?
Spare me your questions about me being positive these days.. But this just hit me like a mallet that hurled 50 feet away from me and smacked right into my face big time. Don't we all deserve someone we can be with for the rest of our lives?
I used to say that I can do things alone, I can live alone, and that I do not need love to exist. But I guess Maslow is right: It's part of our necessities. I know when to stand up alone and but I know that there are times that I need someone to lean on.
I am content with my friends. But I need someone whom I can share my life with totally, who can make me feel that I'm a priority, who can be there for me all the time, who can give me that feeling that I am the only one.
Nah! Screw this. I guess there will never be a time for that. I'll die alone but I'll die with honor and greatness. I'm not going to let another cocksucker knock me off my feet only to realize that I'm part of a threesome (or foursome, or more?)
In the mean time, I'd have to enjoy me being THE ONLY ONE for myself...
Then again, comes that feeling again....
Friday, November 5, 2010
The Sunken Brick
For many people who have witnessed my past relationship with someone, they usually have their eyebrows up when I get to mention X's name. They would think that I am still in-love with X and that I am still into X, and all those blah-blah-blah "One More Chance" stuff.
Sorry to burst your bubbles: NO. Not anymore. I just enjoy talking about it, but it doesn't mean I'm still head over heels for that... creature. Not even bitterness do I sense any tinge about it anymore.
Yes, I admit, was madly in-love that time. But come on, I have moved on; You guys move on, too. Stop forcing me to go back to the ruins. I have already dusted myself off. Sure, everyone liked it when we were together, everyone witnessed our ups and downs, everyone have seen the sweetness that we shared with each other.... But that's over. I am already miles away from it and I'm loving every step I take away from it.
It's about time that you all also move on.
There are also people who if not force me to go back to X, take good care of the bitterness that my X and I had when we broke up. Why? You were never part of that argument, why interfere? Why not move on also? X and I are already somehow okay, why can't you be? It's the funniest thing in the world.
I used to believe that love never dies, that love is constant and unchanged. I proved me wrong. It's a lesson I have learned.
"Nothing lasts forever," to rephrase my friend Gabby who told me this just last night regarding this new thing I am having with another. "Sometimes, we just wake up and discover that love is fading away and gone."
That's why I don't let my life depend on love. It can sometimes be unstable. So my life rests in the arms of Happiness. That's all that matters now. Not love, but Happiness. Just enjoy life in its motherfucking fullest.
"Love is like a brick. You can build a house, or you can sink a dead body." - GaGa
Sorry to burst your bubbles: NO. Not anymore. I just enjoy talking about it, but it doesn't mean I'm still head over heels for that... creature. Not even bitterness do I sense any tinge about it anymore.
Yes, I admit, was madly in-love that time. But come on, I have moved on; You guys move on, too. Stop forcing me to go back to the ruins. I have already dusted myself off. Sure, everyone liked it when we were together, everyone witnessed our ups and downs, everyone have seen the sweetness that we shared with each other.... But that's over. I am already miles away from it and I'm loving every step I take away from it.
It's about time that you all also move on.
There are also people who if not force me to go back to X, take good care of the bitterness that my X and I had when we broke up. Why? You were never part of that argument, why interfere? Why not move on also? X and I are already somehow okay, why can't you be? It's the funniest thing in the world.
I used to believe that love never dies, that love is constant and unchanged. I proved me wrong. It's a lesson I have learned.
"Nothing lasts forever," to rephrase my friend Gabby who told me this just last night regarding this new thing I am having with another. "Sometimes, we just wake up and discover that love is fading away and gone."
That's why I don't let my life depend on love. It can sometimes be unstable. So my life rests in the arms of Happiness. That's all that matters now. Not love, but Happiness. Just enjoy life in its motherfucking fullest.
"Love is like a brick. You can build a house, or you can sink a dead body." - GaGa
Night Pounder
To AM or to PM? This is the question often asked at work. Well, most newbies get to go to the PM shift but most people prefer working in the morning.
This is the first time that I go somewhere at night on a regular basis. When I heard that we will have morning and night shift, I had no complaints; I don't know how I do when the sun is already shining in the West and when the moon is flaunting in the bejeweled sky. Many people quit PM shift. That's why the morning shift is jam-packed with tutors while the evening contains easy-to-count sheep.
My body clock adapted the new schedule ever since the first day---I mean, afternoon. I would wake up around 9:30AM and have my brunch and then work, dinner, work, home, and stuff I do before sleep. My meals developed from breakfast-lunch-snack-dinner to brunch-snack-dinner-midnight lunch. My sleeping time evolved from 10 in the evening to two in the morning. It has become a routine and somehow, I don't find any boredom (probably, the funny essays keep me up haha!)
One of the best things about the PM shift is that I am not challenged in spending money after work. Of course, malls are closed around midnight. Our building is actually near Ayala malls and that surely is a huge temptation.
But I used to always be a morning person. I love watching prime time shows, hanging out at malls (though I still do this everyday before work,) meeting friends in the evening, and doing a lot of stuff. I was used to getting up in the morning. It was no problem for me because when I wake up during those times, I felt the obligations I had for that day and those move me off the bed.
The fun thing about the night shift is not getting up early. Especially, this season. Mornings are still cold and whatever time I get up, I find no need for haste. It's fun; I get to extend my trip to dreamland.
But then, I realized: I can do more if I work in the morning. Imagine the longer time I can possess in the afternoon if I work in the AM shift. There are also jobs that I want to do in the afternoon like becoming a freelance writer. It's my dream. Imagine the time I can have for hanging out with friends in the afternoon and evening. Imagine... Imagine... Gotta stop imagining fora while.
There isn't any available slot for the AM shift. And even if there is, others are racing for it. I don't like being in the bandwagon most of the time. So for now, I enjoy pounding on the keyboards with the moon smiling above my head.
Happiness!
This is the first time that I go somewhere at night on a regular basis. When I heard that we will have morning and night shift, I had no complaints; I don't know how I do when the sun is already shining in the West and when the moon is flaunting in the bejeweled sky. Many people quit PM shift. That's why the morning shift is jam-packed with tutors while the evening contains easy-to-count sheep.
My body clock adapted the new schedule ever since the first day---I mean, afternoon. I would wake up around 9:30AM and have my brunch and then work, dinner, work, home, and stuff I do before sleep. My meals developed from breakfast-lunch-snack-dinner to brunch-snack-dinner-midnight lunch. My sleeping time evolved from 10 in the evening to two in the morning. It has become a routine and somehow, I don't find any boredom (probably, the funny essays keep me up haha!)
One of the best things about the PM shift is that I am not challenged in spending money after work. Of course, malls are closed around midnight. Our building is actually near Ayala malls and that surely is a huge temptation.
But I used to always be a morning person. I love watching prime time shows, hanging out at malls (though I still do this everyday before work,) meeting friends in the evening, and doing a lot of stuff. I was used to getting up in the morning. It was no problem for me because when I wake up during those times, I felt the obligations I had for that day and those move me off the bed.
The fun thing about the night shift is not getting up early. Especially, this season. Mornings are still cold and whatever time I get up, I find no need for haste. It's fun; I get to extend my trip to dreamland.
But then, I realized: I can do more if I work in the morning. Imagine the longer time I can possess in the afternoon if I work in the AM shift. There are also jobs that I want to do in the afternoon like becoming a freelance writer. It's my dream. Imagine the time I can have for hanging out with friends in the afternoon and evening. Imagine... Imagine... Gotta stop imagining fora while.
There isn't any available slot for the AM shift. And even if there is, others are racing for it. I don't like being in the bandwagon most of the time. So for now, I enjoy pounding on the keyboards with the moon smiling above my head.
Happiness!
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Rampa Mode
Group message. "Career." Rampa. Mode. Textivity. Now playing. Tag. Rules and regulations. Quit.
There are thousands of clans in the Philippines and I am ashamed to claim that I was in many of them when I was younger. Now that I am older and bolder, I came to thinking: Why are there clans?
Of course, I have to regain my memories regarding this issue so I have to join one, which I don't want to mention because the creativity in naming clans is too unflattering. And as a creature pretending to be a human to be able to gain data about terrestrial activities, I have made these observations when it comes to clan peeps:
1. They do not have real life. They live in the virtual world where they are the celebrities bu only hitting a few buttons on their mobile phones. They force you to send many group messages (even if your message is not really that important such as "rampa ko lang si Kiyeme at Chorva," or "I ate burritos for lunch.) They can terminate you if you don't meet the daily quota of GMs (group messages,) simply because they can simply because they have nothing else to do in real life while you are out there making the best out of it. Pity.
2. They terminate you when you are only there for textmates. Come on. What else are we joining clans for? We did not really join there to receive meaningless GMs or to join textivities that only induce libido of fellow members while silently screaming "I want sex now!"
3. Worthless people. Okay, it is too mean for me to say "worthless" but really, there are MILLIONS of members in clans who do not really have a good meaning for their lives. They are there to pass the time, send GMs a lot, and escape from reality. I remember one time when my best friend Judy countered this girl, named Fert (close to Fart,) who kept arguing with her. Fart seemed so brave and, well, pretty because she was a celebrity in the clan. But when we met her, she was like a dust that kept stalking us. I even whispered to Judy, "Was that really the girl who was arguing with you?" Haha! People are really more courages when it comes to text messaging.
4. Jejemons. WAAAAAAAH! I keep receiving those jejetexts that I almost threw my phone away. I wanted to tell them to go away, but I had to do it in a nicer way, "I have already quit. Please erase my number." Damn, they won't stop! Obviously, they got lesser brain cells to process even the most comprehensible terms. Arggggg!
5. Sex on phone. Grrrr! Are their lives really that miserable that they are content with booty calls (or in this case, we call it booty phone call)? I hate it when I receive messages like "Vito Cruz anyone?" "SOP?" "I'm horny." Please! I am, too! But, not with you, you....!!!!
But as part of my positivity campaign that I have started just a few sunny mornings ago, I will look at this in a sunny and fresh perspective: On a lighter note, I am so glad that I am able to share this information to the Unknowns. They will be so glad that I was able to take note of such sub-sub-subculture! Not much are there people who can provide such details and post it in their blogs (because they are not stupid enough like me to join clans.) Until then, we shall inherit the earth... soon!
There are thousands of clans in the Philippines and I am ashamed to claim that I was in many of them when I was younger. Now that I am older and bolder, I came to thinking: Why are there clans?
Of course, I have to regain my memories regarding this issue so I have to join one, which I don't want to mention because the creativity in naming clans is too unflattering. And as a creature pretending to be a human to be able to gain data about terrestrial activities, I have made these observations when it comes to clan peeps:
1. They do not have real life. They live in the virtual world where they are the celebrities bu only hitting a few buttons on their mobile phones. They force you to send many group messages (even if your message is not really that important such as "rampa ko lang si Kiyeme at Chorva," or "I ate burritos for lunch.) They can terminate you if you don't meet the daily quota of GMs (group messages,) simply because they can simply because they have nothing else to do in real life while you are out there making the best out of it. Pity.
2. They terminate you when you are only there for textmates. Come on. What else are we joining clans for? We did not really join there to receive meaningless GMs or to join textivities that only induce libido of fellow members while silently screaming "I want sex now!"
3. Worthless people. Okay, it is too mean for me to say "worthless" but really, there are MILLIONS of members in clans who do not really have a good meaning for their lives. They are there to pass the time, send GMs a lot, and escape from reality. I remember one time when my best friend Judy countered this girl, named Fert (close to Fart,) who kept arguing with her. Fart seemed so brave and, well, pretty because she was a celebrity in the clan. But when we met her, she was like a dust that kept stalking us. I even whispered to Judy, "Was that really the girl who was arguing with you?" Haha! People are really more courages when it comes to text messaging.
4. Jejemons. WAAAAAAAH! I keep receiving those jejetexts that I almost threw my phone away. I wanted to tell them to go away, but I had to do it in a nicer way, "I have already quit. Please erase my number." Damn, they won't stop! Obviously, they got lesser brain cells to process even the most comprehensible terms. Arggggg!
5. Sex on phone. Grrrr! Are their lives really that miserable that they are content with booty calls (or in this case, we call it booty phone call)? I hate it when I receive messages like "Vito Cruz anyone?" "SOP?" "I'm horny." Please! I am, too! But, not with you, you....!!!!
But as part of my positivity campaign that I have started just a few sunny mornings ago, I will look at this in a sunny and fresh perspective: On a lighter note, I am so glad that I am able to share this information to the Unknowns. They will be so glad that I was able to take note of such sub-sub-subculture! Not much are there people who can provide such details and post it in their blogs (because they are not stupid enough like me to join clans.) Until then, we shall inherit the earth... soon!
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Summer Year
2008... I was at the darkest period of my life. I liked death, bought tons of black shirts, liked dark colors, wrote a la Poppy Z. Brite. I felt like life had been so cruel to me. It was as cold as winter.
2009... The year when the spring season lasted for a year. Flowers bloomed, butterflies swarmed, sun shone on "us." There were dark clouds but at the end of the day, the sun set was the most beautiful picture that we belong in.
This year, as everyone knows, started with pitfalls. There were a lot of challenges; tears, heartbreaks, rage, deaths. But I stood up and emerged from the rubble. It feels like the combination of the past two years; a little negative but filled with positivity. Summer has set in. I don't believe in love anymore (at least, love about me.) I am not expecting for it because of the chaos that I witnessed not just in my case but in many. Whatever goes now, it goes, love or hell. But I don't want to hope for nothing.
The best thing I can find in myself right now is positivity. It is something I have never had in life. I look at the world as garbage that I am recycling. Life is too short to complain, rant, and mourn. We are not just an audience in the show of our life; we are the directors. We call the shots.
I hold this positivity like medal on my chest. What's more important than love is Happiness. So while there are people who keep throwing me back to the grave, my spirit is here in the beach, in a clean ocean, enjoying the sun shine and the company.
Let's hold on to life full of positivity and Happiness. We'll never know what we missed until we grow old.
2009... The year when the spring season lasted for a year. Flowers bloomed, butterflies swarmed, sun shone on "us." There were dark clouds but at the end of the day, the sun set was the most beautiful picture that we belong in.
This year, as everyone knows, started with pitfalls. There were a lot of challenges; tears, heartbreaks, rage, deaths. But I stood up and emerged from the rubble. It feels like the combination of the past two years; a little negative but filled with positivity. Summer has set in. I don't believe in love anymore (at least, love about me.) I am not expecting for it because of the chaos that I witnessed not just in my case but in many. Whatever goes now, it goes, love or hell. But I don't want to hope for nothing.
The best thing I can find in myself right now is positivity. It is something I have never had in life. I look at the world as garbage that I am recycling. Life is too short to complain, rant, and mourn. We are not just an audience in the show of our life; we are the directors. We call the shots.
I hold this positivity like medal on my chest. What's more important than love is Happiness. So while there are people who keep throwing me back to the grave, my spirit is here in the beach, in a clean ocean, enjoying the sun shine and the company.
Let's hold on to life full of positivity and Happiness. We'll never know what we missed until we grow old.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Satisfaction Guaranteed
Taedium vitae.
I'm not an expert with words but I know a lot of them. But this one was not part of my vocabulary yet until I read it from my friend Gabby's status at Facebook. Then, I realized that this had something to do with the feeling that life is boring and wearisome. My friend Gabby said she felt that happiness tend to be temporary. All the good times that we have when we go out and get merry did not convince her enough that life is fun. She wanted something that lasts forever.
When I went out with my superfriend, she also shared the same thought to me. Actually, she had told me and our friend Master Baker about it a few months before. Superfriend also wanted more. She even quoted that line in the song "More to Life" by Stacie Orrico saying, "There's got to be more to life than chasing out every temporary high."
I pondered aout this for days and quickly figured that the only thing that could satisfy one is to become rich. Let's admit it, with money, we can almost do everything. We want to go out there, get high, and have a blast, but we cannot do those things unless we have enough ka-ching in our pockets. With money, it is possible that we can make happiness stable in our lives.
Imagine the beautiful house you can have like those in MTV Teen Cribs, the parties you can pull off like those in MTV Sweet Sixteen (MTV got a thing for greed, I guess,) the places you can go to like those in Travel Channels, or the clothes you can wear like those in Sex and The City. They can satisfy one. You can never be insecure anymore about what is going to happen next. With wealth, you got a firm hold with your future. And come on, let's face it: Money in our pockets is happiness. Yeah, spare me those "There-are-things-that-money-can-buy" monologues but, there are GREAT GREAT things ALSO that money can do FOR US.
But boredom does not end with becoming just another Bill Gates. I always say that boredom does not depend on what situations give to someone; rather it is what that someone does that matter. We cannot be bored if we do somehting with our lives. When I am bored, I go out and find something interesting (When I say "something interesting" here, I mean, at least, for me.) Life is not all about fireworks and confetti; There are really times that we need to face the other side of the coin. Over and over one shall find himself or herself just having another dull moment.
It's part of life.
I am not writing for those two friends that I mentioned (disclaimer mode.) This is just a product of my mind's wanders and wonders. I don't mean that they want to become rich but I somehow suggest that it is a solution (Note: indefinite article.) I guess what I'm trying to point out here is we should just go out there and do our thing. Let's find new things and discover more without stopping 'cause life is damn short.
Let's just do whatever we can to make ourselves satisfied, even with simpler things.
I'm not an expert with words but I know a lot of them. But this one was not part of my vocabulary yet until I read it from my friend Gabby's status at Facebook. Then, I realized that this had something to do with the feeling that life is boring and wearisome. My friend Gabby said she felt that happiness tend to be temporary. All the good times that we have when we go out and get merry did not convince her enough that life is fun. She wanted something that lasts forever.
When I went out with my superfriend, she also shared the same thought to me. Actually, she had told me and our friend Master Baker about it a few months before. Superfriend also wanted more. She even quoted that line in the song "More to Life" by Stacie Orrico saying, "There's got to be more to life than chasing out every temporary high."
I pondered aout this for days and quickly figured that the only thing that could satisfy one is to become rich. Let's admit it, with money, we can almost do everything. We want to go out there, get high, and have a blast, but we cannot do those things unless we have enough ka-ching in our pockets. With money, it is possible that we can make happiness stable in our lives.
Imagine the beautiful house you can have like those in MTV Teen Cribs, the parties you can pull off like those in MTV Sweet Sixteen (MTV got a thing for greed, I guess,) the places you can go to like those in Travel Channels, or the clothes you can wear like those in Sex and The City. They can satisfy one. You can never be insecure anymore about what is going to happen next. With wealth, you got a firm hold with your future. And come on, let's face it: Money in our pockets is happiness. Yeah, spare me those "There-are-things-that-money-can-buy" monologues but, there are GREAT GREAT things ALSO that money can do FOR US.
But boredom does not end with becoming just another Bill Gates. I always say that boredom does not depend on what situations give to someone; rather it is what that someone does that matter. We cannot be bored if we do somehting with our lives. When I am bored, I go out and find something interesting (When I say "something interesting" here, I mean, at least, for me.) Life is not all about fireworks and confetti; There are really times that we need to face the other side of the coin. Over and over one shall find himself or herself just having another dull moment.
It's part of life.
I am not writing for those two friends that I mentioned (disclaimer mode.) This is just a product of my mind's wanders and wonders. I don't mean that they want to become rich but I somehow suggest that it is a solution (Note: indefinite article.) I guess what I'm trying to point out here is we should just go out there and do our thing. Let's find new things and discover more without stopping 'cause life is damn short.
Let's just do whatever we can to make ourselves satisfied, even with simpler things.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
How to Summon My Inner Monster
If people choose the person they love, they should also choose the people they argue with. I have my own ideals when it comes to those whom I fight with. Because there are those which, if you argue with but are not on the same level as you, are worth "breaking up" with.
I love a person who is good in arguments. Yes, I can even love my enemies. There are people who know the right words to counter attack my words. Those are the people I like. Those whom I argue with but at the same time has a point. I got my own point and, possibly, the enemy got one, too. And even if there isn't any, at least, at the end, one agrees to be (or at least) defeated. I fight at my mightiest, as long as it's a logical argument and in context, but when I know that my point is not as better as the one I am arguing with, I stop.
I know when to stop.
But what I really hate are those people who argue with me for the sake of just arguing---not for the sake of getting his or her logical point across. I'm, talking about those people who go beyond context, who talk about something else that is not really relevant to the topic at hand.
Let's say, for example, that you two are arguing about why a guy does not deserve a trust because he is a user (sounds familiar? Nah, just popped into my mind *wink*.) And then, the one you are arguing with (Let's call this person, the opponent) suddenly starts telling you, "Well, your mother sucks!" or "GAY!" or "People do not like you, shut up!" or maybe, starts throwing things at you literally. What's the whole point of such lines in an argument? Yeah, just to piss us off. They resort to calling us names or talking about things that are not relevant to the argument at hand by attacking us just so they can think that they can win it.
But actually, no. It's the other way around. You see, if we argue in-context, we get the privilege of being a good fighter. But if we start doing things that are not related to what the argument is, that means that we are the LOSERS. Because when a person starts talking about other things, he or she knows that he cannot fire back anymore. This is the moment that the opponent chooses to kick inside the boxing ring. He or she knows he is losing, he needs to fire back with something illogical, unreasonable, and on topmost, naive.
But the question is, how do we respond. Do we stick our tongues out and put our thumbs on our heads as our fingers wave in the air? Do we pull our pants down and slap on our asses?
Now, I am not a violent person.. But once things get out of hand (like what the opponent does,) I think it's time for Plan V... Not plan B... Plan V.. Violence.
Just kidding. Not a right kind of piece of advice. But all I can say is, it's just me. It's just that when I get really pissed off due to illogical rants, I go totally ballistic.
The monster sleeps... But the monster inside awakens in time. So, do not dare summon it.
I love a person who is good in arguments. Yes, I can even love my enemies. There are people who know the right words to counter attack my words. Those are the people I like. Those whom I argue with but at the same time has a point. I got my own point and, possibly, the enemy got one, too. And even if there isn't any, at least, at the end, one agrees to be (or at least) defeated. I fight at my mightiest, as long as it's a logical argument and in context, but when I know that my point is not as better as the one I am arguing with, I stop.
I know when to stop.
But what I really hate are those people who argue with me for the sake of just arguing---not for the sake of getting his or her logical point across. I'm, talking about those people who go beyond context, who talk about something else that is not really relevant to the topic at hand.
Let's say, for example, that you two are arguing about why a guy does not deserve a trust because he is a user (sounds familiar? Nah, just popped into my mind *wink*.) And then, the one you are arguing with (Let's call this person, the opponent) suddenly starts telling you, "Well, your mother sucks!" or "GAY!" or "People do not like you, shut up!" or maybe, starts throwing things at you literally. What's the whole point of such lines in an argument? Yeah, just to piss us off. They resort to calling us names or talking about things that are not relevant to the argument at hand by attacking us just so they can think that they can win it.
But actually, no. It's the other way around. You see, if we argue in-context, we get the privilege of being a good fighter. But if we start doing things that are not related to what the argument is, that means that we are the LOSERS. Because when a person starts talking about other things, he or she knows that he cannot fire back anymore. This is the moment that the opponent chooses to kick inside the boxing ring. He or she knows he is losing, he needs to fire back with something illogical, unreasonable, and on topmost, naive.
But the question is, how do we respond. Do we stick our tongues out and put our thumbs on our heads as our fingers wave in the air? Do we pull our pants down and slap on our asses?
Now, I am not a violent person.. But once things get out of hand (like what the opponent does,) I think it's time for Plan V... Not plan B... Plan V.. Violence.
Just kidding. Not a right kind of piece of advice. But all I can say is, it's just me. It's just that when I get really pissed off due to illogical rants, I go totally ballistic.
The monster sleeps... But the monster inside awakens in time. So, do not dare summon it.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Jump on The Stage
Dressed up and ready to go somewhere which is not a house I was that Sunday afternoon as I headed to Gabby's house. I had no idea what all the other peeps were planning on that day but I had that little craving to go out and rock. So I dragged boyish Gabby, bestfriend Taylor, and tall lanky Jace. They weren't really planning for anything done outside but I convinced them to go out at a mall where our friend, Judy, works as a manager of a certain pastry shop. She, then, tagged along as our feet took us to a restau bar.
With some negotiations with our contributions, we managed to have enough for our dinner and booze. Pizza, beers, gin, sisig, and eye candies promised a good night ahead. Bands were playing at a stage and we found love with one band that had a guest list that favored our tastes. We had the guts to talk to the band, tell them how much we loved their gig, and managed to make friends with them (or at least, with the very awesome vocalist.)
Then, I was eyeing this chic with whom I had no guts of talking to. So I gulped a lot of power booster to lose a little of my shame and successfully gave my number written on a Vampire Diaries post card that Taylor found inside the bar. My card was rejected. I don't know if I was considered "too drunk," "too rude," or that chic just hated Vampire Diaries. I'm not even sure if its contents were read. Well, at least, I did something... BUT IT WAS NOT ENOUGH. I'm such a loser when it comes to hook ups.
The night was still young when Judy had to go home after spending the rest of the time just watching us have a fine night. Maybe, she was really that tired or she was worrying about her cute son who was sick that time. But, when you are at a party, YOU OUGHTA PARTY! Oh, well... That's just my opinion, not hers... So what the heck.
There was this one guy who all of a sudden just talked to me... inside the bathroom. Not interesting-looking, short, common face... I don't know how the conversation started but it was just there. I even forgot how it ended.
Then, we had the rest of the night jamming with the songs from the bands. Our table was filled with head-banging dancing freaks. Later that night/early morning, we managed to dance on the dancefloor. But I did not choose the floor, I chose the stage where I took solo of the music (I loved it when the DJ jammed on "Jump" by Nelly Furtado.) After some songs, I was requested to go off the stage which I took hands up and respectfully.
As we walked in the parking place, my friends suddenly stopped for a while with a reason I don't really recall. The stop just made my back kiss the earth. I just wanted to lie there. I have no idea how my friends managed to get my phone and photograph me at that moment. Jace even went on top of me which made the security come to stop the mess. I saw my photo "punching" Jace with what he's doing---it was embarrassing!
We walked our way to find a taxi as we talked and yelled about the security in a huge space at the mall.
"Well, if you are gonna have some bars in your mall, you gotta expect that people will be lying on the ground and all!!!" I yelled at nobody, voice resounding on the huge walls.
"Yeah, nice job, security! Nice job!" Gabby added. And we went on and on and on.
Boring, right? I want to do more than that this weekend.
With some negotiations with our contributions, we managed to have enough for our dinner and booze. Pizza, beers, gin, sisig, and eye candies promised a good night ahead. Bands were playing at a stage and we found love with one band that had a guest list that favored our tastes. We had the guts to talk to the band, tell them how much we loved their gig, and managed to make friends with them (or at least, with the very awesome vocalist.)
Then, I was eyeing this chic with whom I had no guts of talking to. So I gulped a lot of power booster to lose a little of my shame and successfully gave my number written on a Vampire Diaries post card that Taylor found inside the bar. My card was rejected. I don't know if I was considered "too drunk," "too rude," or that chic just hated Vampire Diaries. I'm not even sure if its contents were read. Well, at least, I did something... BUT IT WAS NOT ENOUGH. I'm such a loser when it comes to hook ups.
The night was still young when Judy had to go home after spending the rest of the time just watching us have a fine night. Maybe, she was really that tired or she was worrying about her cute son who was sick that time. But, when you are at a party, YOU OUGHTA PARTY! Oh, well... That's just my opinion, not hers... So what the heck.
There was this one guy who all of a sudden just talked to me... inside the bathroom. Not interesting-looking, short, common face... I don't know how the conversation started but it was just there. I even forgot how it ended.
Then, we had the rest of the night jamming with the songs from the bands. Our table was filled with head-banging dancing freaks. Later that night/early morning, we managed to dance on the dancefloor. But I did not choose the floor, I chose the stage where I took solo of the music (I loved it when the DJ jammed on "Jump" by Nelly Furtado.) After some songs, I was requested to go off the stage which I took hands up and respectfully.
As we walked in the parking place, my friends suddenly stopped for a while with a reason I don't really recall. The stop just made my back kiss the earth. I just wanted to lie there. I have no idea how my friends managed to get my phone and photograph me at that moment. Jace even went on top of me which made the security come to stop the mess. I saw my photo "punching" Jace with what he's doing---it was embarrassing!
We walked our way to find a taxi as we talked and yelled about the security in a huge space at the mall.
"Well, if you are gonna have some bars in your mall, you gotta expect that people will be lying on the ground and all!!!" I yelled at nobody, voice resounding on the huge walls.
"Yeah, nice job, security! Nice job!" Gabby added. And we went on and on and on.
Boring, right? I want to do more than that this weekend.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
The "wtf" Post
"No!" said my good side, who is off to bed at this moment.
"I am gonna say what I want to say, and there ain't no phucka to stop me!" replied the devil in me.
I am in a constant fight between my good and evil right now. It is that sweet taste of alcohol that is taking over and there ain't not a single halo that can stand on my head tonight.
There is this huge proclamation I am about to reveal: I will never be in a relationship ever again with the feeling of "LOVE".
I don't know. It's not fear anymore. It's not that feeling that I fear of falling in love again and knowing then chance of getting hurt. It's that egoistic side telling me that no one deserves somebody like me. Whether you take the term "somebody" positively or negatively, I fucking don't care. I dare someone to come up and tell me that I'm the one but certainly nobody can handle my "flaws" (if "flaws" here means having concerns with the environment, being extraordinary, or being in the "rational" and "logical" side of an argument).
No, I don't have any problem with people around me who are in love, I'm proud of them. But for me, I can feel that I want to make a decision---a hasty one--that I will never love again. That it should not be part of my life. It's that hole----that hole that eats my dignity (I guess). Stop it! These thoughts, I don't know, they keep on coming, they're life lightning hitting me----they say that lightning does not strike at the same place twice--but here it is. They hit me hard, NO PAIN---just a thought that I don't want to fall again.
It's crazy!! I wanna puke right now! I just don't know myself at this moment! But I know for sure, that when the time comes that I fall for someone, I'll make sure that we both have the same level of excellency... or maybe the other is even higher...
GRrrrrrr! I can't stop typing..qwerwjgrngeerjnigrjRIPHNR
"I am gonna say what I want to say, and there ain't no phucka to stop me!" replied the devil in me.
I am in a constant fight between my good and evil right now. It is that sweet taste of alcohol that is taking over and there ain't not a single halo that can stand on my head tonight.
There is this huge proclamation I am about to reveal: I will never be in a relationship ever again with the feeling of "LOVE".
I don't know. It's not fear anymore. It's not that feeling that I fear of falling in love again and knowing then chance of getting hurt. It's that egoistic side telling me that no one deserves somebody like me. Whether you take the term "somebody" positively or negatively, I fucking don't care. I dare someone to come up and tell me that I'm the one but certainly nobody can handle my "flaws" (if "flaws" here means having concerns with the environment, being extraordinary, or being in the "rational" and "logical" side of an argument).
No, I don't have any problem with people around me who are in love, I'm proud of them. But for me, I can feel that I want to make a decision---a hasty one--that I will never love again. That it should not be part of my life. It's that hole----that hole that eats my dignity (I guess). Stop it! These thoughts, I don't know, they keep on coming, they're life lightning hitting me----they say that lightning does not strike at the same place twice--but here it is. They hit me hard, NO PAIN---just a thought that I don't want to fall again.
It's crazy!! I wanna puke right now! I just don't know myself at this moment! But I know for sure, that when the time comes that I fall for someone, I'll make sure that we both have the same level of excellency... or maybe the other is even higher...
GRrrrrrr! I can't stop typing..qwerwjgrngeerjnigrjRIPHNR
Friday, August 27, 2010
Coco Crunched
Being a good follower of my musings, you could easily trace the times when I shared that the spice in my head is drifting away or that it occurs occasionally. Probably, it is also one of the reasons why Everything E is not as active as before ('before' here translates as "the times I was doing blogs since "Anything But Ordinary" to "Pornography of My Inner Universe"). There is really something wrong with my head. Of course, there is. But the problem is, when I summon that inner power and that magnanimous spirit, it seems like it is in a deep slumber and rarely manages to bat my head.
A little conscious about it, I struggled months ago to know what is causing all this lack of omnipotence. The first thing I blamed, to be honest, is being in a relationship with someone not of my own mental level (the description given here means someone with a head gear of a 10-year-old). Those were the times that I tried to go down to that shmuck's level so that we can enjoy the same stuff (but it does not mean I lost myself completely--I love myself and will never utterly lose it). The second thing I blamed was the games I was playing. It was kind of irrational but I somehow pondered if games can really affect the way we think... in a negative way. Of course, games can help us develop our way of thinking, but, don't they also affect us negatively at some point? I still don't know. The third thing where I pointed my finger was Facebook. Don't ask.
I don't know if this is really normal, yet I am not in the first place. This is that point in time that I wish a manual came along when I was born. Now, all I know are human malfunctions (not disorders.. okay, disorders). But actually, the problem I guess is that I am too reactive rather than being proactive. I need to inquire about this strange phenomenon. When the Net is in front of me, there's one answer for asking questions: Yahoo Answer (Sorry, not Google... Goggle is not an answer, it is a search engine). My fingertips pounded on the keys and then they started hitting backspace...
Okay, so, how do you ask about losing your mind? Hmm... Now, that sounds crazy. Crazy indeed.
This is going nowhere. Somehow, I need to find a solution for this downfall of eminence. I have reserved my talents all these years in me and now, without even having the ability to touch the tips of success, my immortality is already... *gasp*... My immortality is slowly fading!
I'm becoming human.
I was never warned that this will happen to me. After all these years of doing favor for the Unknown by sinking me deep into the trenches of everything earthly and letting me store information necessary for their own understanding of humans and the Earth, I never thought that there is a possibility that I will become one of... them. No, I don't have a problem with humans, but the thing is, I can never survive here being one.
But let's go back to the main idea. Really, there is that big (I'm hesistant in saying "huge"; it might alarm me) loss inside my Inner Universe. Or is it that the portals are under damage control? Hmmm... The word 'damage' is alarming, too.
Now, I learned that I have a task for the next few days (or make it weeks and months): to find my old self back. That person who is better than the one strumming on these keys. That person whose head gear does not run out of explosives and fireworks. That person who can summon the tiny great words and teach them how to behave like gods---- Where art thou? This is when the search starts. I don't like pressuring myself, so, let me say, I shall give myself a week to end this hide and seek.
But of course, I am not going to leave you guys hanging; With or without "it", I shall struggle to muster all the energy left in my coconut shell.
Wait, did I say coconut shell? Oh no...
A little conscious about it, I struggled months ago to know what is causing all this lack of omnipotence. The first thing I blamed, to be honest, is being in a relationship with someone not of my own mental level (the description given here means someone with a head gear of a 10-year-old). Those were the times that I tried to go down to that shmuck's level so that we can enjoy the same stuff (but it does not mean I lost myself completely--I love myself and will never utterly lose it). The second thing I blamed was the games I was playing. It was kind of irrational but I somehow pondered if games can really affect the way we think... in a negative way. Of course, games can help us develop our way of thinking, but, don't they also affect us negatively at some point? I still don't know. The third thing where I pointed my finger was Facebook. Don't ask.
I don't know if this is really normal, yet I am not in the first place. This is that point in time that I wish a manual came along when I was born. Now, all I know are human malfunctions (not disorders.. okay, disorders). But actually, the problem I guess is that I am too reactive rather than being proactive. I need to inquire about this strange phenomenon. When the Net is in front of me, there's one answer for asking questions: Yahoo Answer (Sorry, not Google... Goggle is not an answer, it is a search engine). My fingertips pounded on the keys and then they started hitting backspace...
Okay, so, how do you ask about losing your mind? Hmm... Now, that sounds crazy. Crazy indeed.
This is going nowhere. Somehow, I need to find a solution for this downfall of eminence. I have reserved my talents all these years in me and now, without even having the ability to touch the tips of success, my immortality is already... *gasp*... My immortality is slowly fading!
I'm becoming human.
I was never warned that this will happen to me. After all these years of doing favor for the Unknown by sinking me deep into the trenches of everything earthly and letting me store information necessary for their own understanding of humans and the Earth, I never thought that there is a possibility that I will become one of... them. No, I don't have a problem with humans, but the thing is, I can never survive here being one.
But let's go back to the main idea. Really, there is that big (I'm hesistant in saying "huge"; it might alarm me) loss inside my Inner Universe. Or is it that the portals are under damage control? Hmmm... The word 'damage' is alarming, too.
Now, I learned that I have a task for the next few days (or make it weeks and months): to find my old self back. That person who is better than the one strumming on these keys. That person whose head gear does not run out of explosives and fireworks. That person who can summon the tiny great words and teach them how to behave like gods---- Where art thou? This is when the search starts. I don't like pressuring myself, so, let me say, I shall give myself a week to end this hide and seek.
But of course, I am not going to leave you guys hanging; With or without "it", I shall struggle to muster all the energy left in my coconut shell.
Wait, did I say coconut shell? Oh no...
Friday, August 20, 2010
Booked Face
We used to think that the Internet is that thing that people would think is everything. We were wrong. We had no idea that it will give birth to something so phenomenal that people will forget its mother: Facebook. Everyone's been checking out their friends' and crushes' statuses and the latest applications that everyone has been crazy about. Suddenly, even I had that time that I can't get enough of Facebook. I wanted to be updated 24/7 (I still do, now that I got mobile net and Facebook is for free).
Suddenly, everyone has stopped living in reality. Now, you don't see them outside. They spend their time chatting with their pals online, poking each other virtually. So, somehow, the interesting creatures involved in my people watching (the norms) can no longer be found harassing the streets of social climbing spots. They're there in the comfort of their own home (or shall I say, cafes). But suddenly, that flickering light bulb on my head came on in a jolt: Aha! Facebook made my job easier: I can people watch at Facebook.
Yeah, Facebook brought me a larger hodgepodge of people whether to love for or to spit at. They are all here! It is interesting to note that you don't see them move here but you see them do exhibitions in front of cameras (exhibition here means slanting your face and shooting yourself on bird's eye-view to get your from-atop-sideways-good-angle-even-if-it-isn't look---I do that sometimes, too, to annoy myself). There are really people really think they still got even a tiny fragment of beauty when they flash cameras on their faces. That's nice. Yeah, nice.
Also, there are people who keep on posting their feelings toward someone whether it would be anger, love, or, missing someone. It just makes me wonder why most of them are those people who cannot really speak in real life. Are they really just good at posting status on Facebook? Is that all they can do for themselves? Why do they sound cool in Facebook status and do not sound like anything at all in real life? Do they wish that they just live in Facebook and never go out of there?
And then there are those who keep you updates about them 24/7 (24/7 this time means twenty four posts in seven minutes). They are those people that tell you that they have just finished washing dishes, they have just closed the door from the bathroom, or they have just took a glance at the window to see nothing. Now, don't get me wrong, I myself do this but not, as in, TOO MUCH. I just say what I want to, and I bet this is what they are also going to say if they read this. But the thing is, do we really need to know everything?
Facebook may be everything for some people but everything is never Facebook. I have nothing against this site nor to all members of it. Hey, Facebook is cool. I didn't write this to diss anyone. I'm writing because I always write about my observations. And it's cool that I get to be connected with all of my friends and know things about them even if we don't meet anymore. I'm not writing to say that Facebook's members stupid or immature or anything... I just think that it is entertaining! The next time I want to talk about something, I just search my “favorite people”, know what' up with them, and I'm on it. You can't blame all these people; it's their escape from the cruel world. Now, let me look for the plug... hmmmmm.....
Suddenly, everyone has stopped living in reality. Now, you don't see them outside. They spend their time chatting with their pals online, poking each other virtually. So, somehow, the interesting creatures involved in my people watching (the norms) can no longer be found harassing the streets of social climbing spots. They're there in the comfort of their own home (or shall I say, cafes). But suddenly, that flickering light bulb on my head came on in a jolt: Aha! Facebook made my job easier: I can people watch at Facebook.
Yeah, Facebook brought me a larger hodgepodge of people whether to love for or to spit at. They are all here! It is interesting to note that you don't see them move here but you see them do exhibitions in front of cameras (exhibition here means slanting your face and shooting yourself on bird's eye-view to get your from-atop-sideways-good-angle-even-if-it-isn't look---I do that sometimes, too, to annoy myself). There are really people really think they still got even a tiny fragment of beauty when they flash cameras on their faces. That's nice. Yeah, nice.
Also, there are people who keep on posting their feelings toward someone whether it would be anger, love, or, missing someone. It just makes me wonder why most of them are those people who cannot really speak in real life. Are they really just good at posting status on Facebook? Is that all they can do for themselves? Why do they sound cool in Facebook status and do not sound like anything at all in real life? Do they wish that they just live in Facebook and never go out of there?
And then there are those who keep you updates about them 24/7 (24/7 this time means twenty four posts in seven minutes). They are those people that tell you that they have just finished washing dishes, they have just closed the door from the bathroom, or they have just took a glance at the window to see nothing. Now, don't get me wrong, I myself do this but not, as in, TOO MUCH. I just say what I want to, and I bet this is what they are also going to say if they read this. But the thing is, do we really need to know everything?
Facebook may be everything for some people but everything is never Facebook. I have nothing against this site nor to all members of it. Hey, Facebook is cool. I didn't write this to diss anyone. I'm writing because I always write about my observations. And it's cool that I get to be connected with all of my friends and know things about them even if we don't meet anymore. I'm not writing to say that Facebook's members stupid or immature or anything... I just think that it is entertaining! The next time I want to talk about something, I just search my “favorite people”, know what' up with them, and I'm on it. You can't blame all these people; it's their escape from the cruel world. Now, let me look for the plug... hmmmmm.....
Friday, July 30, 2010
The Yin Yang Glasses
"(The world's image) depends on how you see it."
Somebody told me this after my reaction with is statement that all people fling and cheat. The sentence hit me in general. It was like a huge mallet that blew my head off for the next thirty seconds. After so many things that I have been writing about the world, suddenly, I thought that my words were only created upon my own belief that the world is round and that everyone collides with the same people without even realizing.
That people are bacteria that have infested parts of the earth.
That there are really humans that act like animals almost completely.
That crime should exist to remind us that there should be safety.
That sickness exists to remind us about health.
And so on...
This conversation was through chat so, instead of my usual quick response to people, I was taken aback. It felt like my hands were negative charged magnets repelled by positively charged keyboards.
And so ,I thought, "Does it really depend on how we see things?"
I am a person with an open mind. I welcome people's opinions. That's why this was something that somehow clogged my mind because it found its opponent inside me but I welcomed both of them to the same room. Yeah, the image of the world may look like how you see it. If you see rainbows and butterflies, you'll get it. But of course, remember this: Denying facts won't make them even half the opinions you want them to be. If you see all rainbows and butterflies, you still can't change the fact that dark smoke is inhabiting your lungs or that the weather does not go the way you want it to be.
Still, there are facts we need to face. People are full of opinions. But at the end of the day, facts will still come to haunt you. They are mostly things unchangeable.
People start to believe that I am a person with so many criticisms about the world. First, let me tell you that I'm not perfect and I love learning. Second, everything I say are just what I see in things. They are hodgepodge of facts and opinions. Not all things I say are true but not everything I say is an opinion. I just exist to remind people that whatever it is you're trying to deny, it is still there in front of you, staring back at you, and I have a tiny third eye to see them. People explain at their finest to excuse themselves from the things they do not want to accept for themselves or about the world. I'm here just to remind you that somehow, you still need to work on them and if possible, get rid of them.
I'm not a person who sees the world as all dark clouds and blood; I see the world just as how it is. It's not completely dirty---nor it is completely beautiful. Nothing is entirely evil and nothing is utterly good. That's the best thing about our world: It's just right.
Somebody told me this after my reaction with is statement that all people fling and cheat. The sentence hit me in general. It was like a huge mallet that blew my head off for the next thirty seconds. After so many things that I have been writing about the world, suddenly, I thought that my words were only created upon my own belief that the world is round and that everyone collides with the same people without even realizing.
That people are bacteria that have infested parts of the earth.
That there are really humans that act like animals almost completely.
That crime should exist to remind us that there should be safety.
That sickness exists to remind us about health.
And so on...
This conversation was through chat so, instead of my usual quick response to people, I was taken aback. It felt like my hands were negative charged magnets repelled by positively charged keyboards.
And so ,I thought, "Does it really depend on how we see things?"
I am a person with an open mind. I welcome people's opinions. That's why this was something that somehow clogged my mind because it found its opponent inside me but I welcomed both of them to the same room. Yeah, the image of the world may look like how you see it. If you see rainbows and butterflies, you'll get it. But of course, remember this: Denying facts won't make them even half the opinions you want them to be. If you see all rainbows and butterflies, you still can't change the fact that dark smoke is inhabiting your lungs or that the weather does not go the way you want it to be.
Still, there are facts we need to face. People are full of opinions. But at the end of the day, facts will still come to haunt you. They are mostly things unchangeable.
People start to believe that I am a person with so many criticisms about the world. First, let me tell you that I'm not perfect and I love learning. Second, everything I say are just what I see in things. They are hodgepodge of facts and opinions. Not all things I say are true but not everything I say is an opinion. I just exist to remind people that whatever it is you're trying to deny, it is still there in front of you, staring back at you, and I have a tiny third eye to see them. People explain at their finest to excuse themselves from the things they do not want to accept for themselves or about the world. I'm here just to remind you that somehow, you still need to work on them and if possible, get rid of them.
I'm not a person who sees the world as all dark clouds and blood; I see the world just as how it is. It's not completely dirty---nor it is completely beautiful. Nothing is entirely evil and nothing is utterly good. That's the best thing about our world: It's just right.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Love Is Not Forever
Do never promise the person you love that you will that person forever. You can never tell. Maybe I'm just overgeneralizing but there are really people who, at first, fall in love with you but at then end, falls out of love.
I used to think that this is not true. I used to believe that when a person strongly loves you, that person would not let go off you no matter what. But, it seems to me that nothing is predictable when it comes to unusual relationships.
Now I came to my new belief that you should never promise a person that you will love him or her forever. Things change. A they say: "Change is the only constant thing in the world."
But of course, I still believe in love. That's why I say this: I don't believe in "I love you forever" but I believe in "I love you". Let us be contented of what our loved ones can give us at the moment. No promises: it is only a sign that you want to secure your future. Well, who doesn't? But the thing is, you should never expect that a relationship would end in a nice way. Of course, when you truly love each other, you need not promise that in the future, it would still be you and him/her. As long as there is love at present, it's enough to make each other feel it. You do not need to worry about tomorrow.
Anyway, I am not discouraging anyone not to promise their loved ones about loving forever. It is just my opinion. You are free to say whatever. But in the end, don't come telling me that you should have took my advice.
Love is not forever.. It is unpredictable... But, love should be held strong to make it last.
Smite me!
I used to think that this is not true. I used to believe that when a person strongly loves you, that person would not let go off you no matter what. But, it seems to me that nothing is predictable when it comes to unusual relationships.
Now I came to my new belief that you should never promise a person that you will love him or her forever. Things change. A they say: "Change is the only constant thing in the world."
But of course, I still believe in love. That's why I say this: I don't believe in "I love you forever" but I believe in "I love you". Let us be contented of what our loved ones can give us at the moment. No promises: it is only a sign that you want to secure your future. Well, who doesn't? But the thing is, you should never expect that a relationship would end in a nice way. Of course, when you truly love each other, you need not promise that in the future, it would still be you and him/her. As long as there is love at present, it's enough to make each other feel it. You do not need to worry about tomorrow.
Anyway, I am not discouraging anyone not to promise their loved ones about loving forever. It is just my opinion. You are free to say whatever. But in the end, don't come telling me that you should have took my advice.
Love is not forever.. It is unpredictable... But, love should be held strong to make it last.
Smite me!
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Spiced Up
I have this ambition of being able to move the world. I usually tell this before to my students. I told them that the should not let their names be written only on birth certificates and carved on tomb stones but let them be spelled across the globe. Yes, it's not juts about me; It's about everyone making a difference and making their lives worth living.
God must have put me in a situation wherein I get to practice it and one of it was at school. When I became an adviser, I was challenged to bring my class's indifferent majority to SOMETHING. Almost everyday was a futile lesson--my homeroom period most of the time becoming a blog post which I intend to post for criticizing nonsensical acts. There came a time that I stopped preaching in front and threw my hands up, telling myself, "Eric, it seems useless to bring their faces back in front." At the latter part of our relationship, my students were doing well when they learned that I have filed my resignation. But of course, at the end of the day, nothing MUCH has changed. There were good progress though and I must say I'm really proud of them although the number of these blessed beings are enough to raise only up to the last finger of my hands.
That's all there is.
Then, I was also challenged to change a special person from being too vulnerable and weak. But also at the end of our relationship, he was able to show me that there are people you can never move no matter how special you are (or WERE) to them. Schadenfreude segue: At least, I was able to prove myself that I'm better than him when we broke up. He sucks big time now, figuratively and literally.
No, I'm not saying that I'm a perfect person. I could never claim to be. Nor can I say that I do most things the right way. Nor could I say that most things that I say are right. It is just that we all have that goal to make this world a better place. And whenever I think that an idea is practical and logical, I advise it to people. When I am not in the right position to say such, I shut my trap.
But here's the lesson: We can never really change everyone. The world is dirty and it will always be. This isn't coming from my pessimist side---neither I am a pessimist. I just know it now. Without conflict, where's the spice of life? Without war, how would we know about peace? Without indifferent people, how would we know we should achieve excellence? Without stupid people, whom can we laugh at? (Just kidding!)
The dark side of Yin Yang is there for a purpose: to spice up life. Imagine if life were perfect. Everything would be the same thing. But with the dirt of the world, we'll know that we need to take a bath every once in a while--and I know you'll agree that taking a bath makes us feel better, right?
This is not to tell you to raise your white flags and melt in the mediocre crowd. This is to tell you that there should always be struggle... We still aim for the better... But do not be frustrated with not being able to change everything completely... Because there are really stupid people out there (even I can be at times). We just need to know how to deal with them. Start with digging up their graves.
God must have put me in a situation wherein I get to practice it and one of it was at school. When I became an adviser, I was challenged to bring my class's indifferent majority to SOMETHING. Almost everyday was a futile lesson--my homeroom period most of the time becoming a blog post which I intend to post for criticizing nonsensical acts. There came a time that I stopped preaching in front and threw my hands up, telling myself, "Eric, it seems useless to bring their faces back in front." At the latter part of our relationship, my students were doing well when they learned that I have filed my resignation. But of course, at the end of the day, nothing MUCH has changed. There were good progress though and I must say I'm really proud of them although the number of these blessed beings are enough to raise only up to the last finger of my hands.
That's all there is.
Then, I was also challenged to change a special person from being too vulnerable and weak. But also at the end of our relationship, he was able to show me that there are people you can never move no matter how special you are (or WERE) to them. Schadenfreude segue: At least, I was able to prove myself that I'm better than him when we broke up. He sucks big time now, figuratively and literally.
No, I'm not saying that I'm a perfect person. I could never claim to be. Nor can I say that I do most things the right way. Nor could I say that most things that I say are right. It is just that we all have that goal to make this world a better place. And whenever I think that an idea is practical and logical, I advise it to people. When I am not in the right position to say such, I shut my trap.
But here's the lesson: We can never really change everyone. The world is dirty and it will always be. This isn't coming from my pessimist side---neither I am a pessimist. I just know it now. Without conflict, where's the spice of life? Without war, how would we know about peace? Without indifferent people, how would we know we should achieve excellence? Without stupid people, whom can we laugh at? (Just kidding!)
The dark side of Yin Yang is there for a purpose: to spice up life. Imagine if life were perfect. Everything would be the same thing. But with the dirt of the world, we'll know that we need to take a bath every once in a while--and I know you'll agree that taking a bath makes us feel better, right?
This is not to tell you to raise your white flags and melt in the mediocre crowd. This is to tell you that there should always be struggle... We still aim for the better... But do not be frustrated with not being able to change everything completely... Because there are really stupid people out there (even I can be at times). We just need to know how to deal with them. Start with digging up their graves.
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