2008... I was at the darkest period of my life. I liked death, bought tons of black shirts, liked dark colors, wrote a la Poppy Z. Brite. I felt like life had been so cruel to me. It was as cold as winter.
2009... The year when the spring season lasted for a year. Flowers bloomed, butterflies swarmed, sun shone on "us." There were dark clouds but at the end of the day, the sun set was the most beautiful picture that we belong in.
This year, as everyone knows, started with pitfalls. There were a lot of challenges; tears, heartbreaks, rage, deaths. But I stood up and emerged from the rubble. It feels like the combination of the past two years; a little negative but filled with positivity. Summer has set in. I don't believe in love anymore (at least, love about me.) I am not expecting for it because of the chaos that I witnessed not just in my case but in many. Whatever goes now, it goes, love or hell. But I don't want to hope for nothing.
The best thing I can find in myself right now is positivity. It is something I have never had in life. I look at the world as garbage that I am recycling. Life is too short to complain, rant, and mourn. We are not just an audience in the show of our life; we are the directors. We call the shots.
I hold this positivity like medal on my chest. What's more important than love is Happiness. So while there are people who keep throwing me back to the grave, my spirit is here in the beach, in a clean ocean, enjoying the sun shine and the company.
Let's hold on to life full of positivity and Happiness. We'll never know what we missed until we grow old.
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