"Tropical the island breeze
All of nature wild and free
This is where I long to be
La isla bonita"
How can one bungalow turn into an escape island where people can do almost everything they dream doing that is not possible in real life?
A place we would usually call only by the name of "Laguna" was an escape to reality for my Circle. It is the house of our friend Gabby where her mother and older brother live. There was a period in our lives that we would usually go there and have some fun. Fun in here means partying, playing loud or even odd music, singing, dancing, running around, dining together, having sex, kissing, shouting, yelling, and more crazy things that one could do.
Our friend Taylor is a huge fan of Madonna and there was one time that he started singing "La Isla Bonita" in the karaoke and that was when we started to dub the place as that due to the mention of the place's name which is "San Pedro." Clearly, La Isla Bonita was a place of escape, where we leave our problems at the bus station, where we do things that the society barely sees or even accepts to see, and where we be who we can be at our best. It was an island where only us existed and nothing else mattered. It was where friendship grew fonder.
Thousands of memories were created throughout our stay at the Island. Have you ever seen people yelling a lot out of only some people's arrival? Have you experienced playing a creepy song with only a candle illuminating everything when suddenly a firecracker made your friend jumped who pretended that she didn't though you witnessed her? Have you tried collecting money for drinks in a "church" way with matching lights and a church song? Have you felt and witnessed your friends doing the deed? Have you ever got caught doing the deed? Have you seen the new music videos of "Hot and Cold," "Single Ladies," "Hollywood," "Ray of Light" and so much more? Have you seen a ghost that seemed so real you just want to laugh because you know it isn't true? Have you done things that are impossible to write anymore because they are soooo crazy and soooo confidential you just can't publish them all?
"Beautiful faces, no cares in this world
Where a boy can love a boy, and a girl can love a girl"
La Isla Bonita surely was an escape paradise. We never did anything illegal, but it was a place where we were at our best, where we could do almost whatever without the pangs of the illogical common society.
How we wish we could still be there. Gabby has an issue that made her leave the place and for more than a year now, we have never gone there. But the place, I guess, still exists within us--when we gather together, have fun together, we bring La Isla Bonita with us. The friendship that grew in that place is the cause of how we are now as friends.
Still, somehow, we dream of going back to the place where everything seems so light, wild, and free.
"Last night I dreamt of San Pedro
It all seems like yesterday, not far away."
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
Robin and I
I have a lot of things that I want to achieve ever since I was young. I can do a lot of stuff: Compose songs, sing (a little,) dance (a little,) write fiction and non-fiction, draw, and some other things that people do not really care about (I just said that.)
Meet my friend Robin, a dancer. He's got looks and talent. He is already a father. He has not graduated college because of this. He is turning nineteen just a few days from now. Robin desperately needs a job but there are two things he feels that he lacks of: experience and confidence.
Meet me, Eric, who is currently hired as a proofreader of essays (they call us "Essay Writers" at work though we don't really write essays there.) I don't have a kid yet, but I really want to have one already (a son, preferably.) I am a four-year college graduate. I am 23 years old (I hate being reminded of my age, I have succeeded in forgetting about it in so many months.) I already have a job and I can say that I have a little bit of experience and confidence.
Robin hates interviews. He feels that he's got nothing to brag about or show to impress the interviewer. He fears, most especially, English. But robin really wants to have a job.
I'm nervous at interviews. But I view it as a gateway to impression. It is the time to let the employer have a glimpse of whom they will be with once they hire me. I have skills in English; it is my specialty in college. But right now, I really want to have a career.
Robin has a career. He loves to dance. He never runs out of gigs, and he does what he loves doing and at the same time, make money out of it. But that was not enough to sustain his and his family's life. That's why he needs a job badly.
I have a job. I'm happy about it, so far, because I get to earn almost enough for me and my family. But I am hoping that someday, I will be able to do something that I like doing and at the same time, earn something good from it. One of them is dancing.
I envy Robin at some point. I have always wanted to dance (it's not my biggest dream, though.) And to see Robin doing it is just something nice. I can sense that he is somehow satisfied with what he does because it is his dream to do such. It is also part of my dream.
Sometimes, I guess, people really don't know what they got already. But most of the time, people know what they need to have.
Meet my friend Robin, a dancer. He's got looks and talent. He is already a father. He has not graduated college because of this. He is turning nineteen just a few days from now. Robin desperately needs a job but there are two things he feels that he lacks of: experience and confidence.
Meet me, Eric, who is currently hired as a proofreader of essays (they call us "Essay Writers" at work though we don't really write essays there.) I don't have a kid yet, but I really want to have one already (a son, preferably.) I am a four-year college graduate. I am 23 years old (I hate being reminded of my age, I have succeeded in forgetting about it in so many months.) I already have a job and I can say that I have a little bit of experience and confidence.
Robin hates interviews. He feels that he's got nothing to brag about or show to impress the interviewer. He fears, most especially, English. But robin really wants to have a job.
I'm nervous at interviews. But I view it as a gateway to impression. It is the time to let the employer have a glimpse of whom they will be with once they hire me. I have skills in English; it is my specialty in college. But right now, I really want to have a career.
Robin has a career. He loves to dance. He never runs out of gigs, and he does what he loves doing and at the same time, make money out of it. But that was not enough to sustain his and his family's life. That's why he needs a job badly.
I have a job. I'm happy about it, so far, because I get to earn almost enough for me and my family. But I am hoping that someday, I will be able to do something that I like doing and at the same time, earn something good from it. One of them is dancing.
I envy Robin at some point. I have always wanted to dance (it's not my biggest dream, though.) And to see Robin doing it is just something nice. I can sense that he is somehow satisfied with what he does because it is his dream to do such. It is also part of my dream.
Sometimes, I guess, people really don't know what they got already. But most of the time, people know what they need to have.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Insecurity Sets In
One of the three most inevitable things in life is getting old. I am afraid of getting old so I made an oath to look young and feel young even if I reach the golden ages. But lately, insecurity sets in. We grow old, have families, lose strength... Who will be there for us during those times?
Last night, it hit me: there are only three of us in the circle left who enjoy each other's company most of the time. Most of our friends already has children, families, and partners (some don't.) And when I looked at who I was with (Gabby and Taylor,) they both have partners of their own.
Whom will I be left with?
I have loved and hurt and been loved. The last being someone I do not really love, and the first two being someone I loved (NOTE: PAST TENSE.) But can't it be that there is someone out there that I truly love, and can love me back, and can be faithful to me?
Spare me your questions about me being positive these days.. But this just hit me like a mallet that hurled 50 feet away from me and smacked right into my face big time. Don't we all deserve someone we can be with for the rest of our lives?
I used to say that I can do things alone, I can live alone, and that I do not need love to exist. But I guess Maslow is right: It's part of our necessities. I know when to stand up alone and but I know that there are times that I need someone to lean on.
I am content with my friends. But I need someone whom I can share my life with totally, who can make me feel that I'm a priority, who can be there for me all the time, who can give me that feeling that I am the only one.
Nah! Screw this. I guess there will never be a time for that. I'll die alone but I'll die with honor and greatness. I'm not going to let another cocksucker knock me off my feet only to realize that I'm part of a threesome (or foursome, or more?)
In the mean time, I'd have to enjoy me being THE ONLY ONE for myself...
Then again, comes that feeling again....
Last night, it hit me: there are only three of us in the circle left who enjoy each other's company most of the time. Most of our friends already has children, families, and partners (some don't.) And when I looked at who I was with (Gabby and Taylor,) they both have partners of their own.
Whom will I be left with?
I have loved and hurt and been loved. The last being someone I do not really love, and the first two being someone I loved (NOTE: PAST TENSE.) But can't it be that there is someone out there that I truly love, and can love me back, and can be faithful to me?
Spare me your questions about me being positive these days.. But this just hit me like a mallet that hurled 50 feet away from me and smacked right into my face big time. Don't we all deserve someone we can be with for the rest of our lives?
I used to say that I can do things alone, I can live alone, and that I do not need love to exist. But I guess Maslow is right: It's part of our necessities. I know when to stand up alone and but I know that there are times that I need someone to lean on.
I am content with my friends. But I need someone whom I can share my life with totally, who can make me feel that I'm a priority, who can be there for me all the time, who can give me that feeling that I am the only one.
Nah! Screw this. I guess there will never be a time for that. I'll die alone but I'll die with honor and greatness. I'm not going to let another cocksucker knock me off my feet only to realize that I'm part of a threesome (or foursome, or more?)
In the mean time, I'd have to enjoy me being THE ONLY ONE for myself...
Then again, comes that feeling again....
Friday, November 5, 2010
The Sunken Brick
For many people who have witnessed my past relationship with someone, they usually have their eyebrows up when I get to mention X's name. They would think that I am still in-love with X and that I am still into X, and all those blah-blah-blah "One More Chance" stuff.
Sorry to burst your bubbles: NO. Not anymore. I just enjoy talking about it, but it doesn't mean I'm still head over heels for that... creature. Not even bitterness do I sense any tinge about it anymore.
Yes, I admit, was madly in-love that time. But come on, I have moved on; You guys move on, too. Stop forcing me to go back to the ruins. I have already dusted myself off. Sure, everyone liked it when we were together, everyone witnessed our ups and downs, everyone have seen the sweetness that we shared with each other.... But that's over. I am already miles away from it and I'm loving every step I take away from it.
It's about time that you all also move on.
There are also people who if not force me to go back to X, take good care of the bitterness that my X and I had when we broke up. Why? You were never part of that argument, why interfere? Why not move on also? X and I are already somehow okay, why can't you be? It's the funniest thing in the world.
I used to believe that love never dies, that love is constant and unchanged. I proved me wrong. It's a lesson I have learned.
"Nothing lasts forever," to rephrase my friend Gabby who told me this just last night regarding this new thing I am having with another. "Sometimes, we just wake up and discover that love is fading away and gone."
That's why I don't let my life depend on love. It can sometimes be unstable. So my life rests in the arms of Happiness. That's all that matters now. Not love, but Happiness. Just enjoy life in its motherfucking fullest.
"Love is like a brick. You can build a house, or you can sink a dead body." - GaGa
Sorry to burst your bubbles: NO. Not anymore. I just enjoy talking about it, but it doesn't mean I'm still head over heels for that... creature. Not even bitterness do I sense any tinge about it anymore.
Yes, I admit, was madly in-love that time. But come on, I have moved on; You guys move on, too. Stop forcing me to go back to the ruins. I have already dusted myself off. Sure, everyone liked it when we were together, everyone witnessed our ups and downs, everyone have seen the sweetness that we shared with each other.... But that's over. I am already miles away from it and I'm loving every step I take away from it.
It's about time that you all also move on.
There are also people who if not force me to go back to X, take good care of the bitterness that my X and I had when we broke up. Why? You were never part of that argument, why interfere? Why not move on also? X and I are already somehow okay, why can't you be? It's the funniest thing in the world.
I used to believe that love never dies, that love is constant and unchanged. I proved me wrong. It's a lesson I have learned.
"Nothing lasts forever," to rephrase my friend Gabby who told me this just last night regarding this new thing I am having with another. "Sometimes, we just wake up and discover that love is fading away and gone."
That's why I don't let my life depend on love. It can sometimes be unstable. So my life rests in the arms of Happiness. That's all that matters now. Not love, but Happiness. Just enjoy life in its motherfucking fullest.
"Love is like a brick. You can build a house, or you can sink a dead body." - GaGa
Night Pounder
To AM or to PM? This is the question often asked at work. Well, most newbies get to go to the PM shift but most people prefer working in the morning.
This is the first time that I go somewhere at night on a regular basis. When I heard that we will have morning and night shift, I had no complaints; I don't know how I do when the sun is already shining in the West and when the moon is flaunting in the bejeweled sky. Many people quit PM shift. That's why the morning shift is jam-packed with tutors while the evening contains easy-to-count sheep.
My body clock adapted the new schedule ever since the first day---I mean, afternoon. I would wake up around 9:30AM and have my brunch and then work, dinner, work, home, and stuff I do before sleep. My meals developed from breakfast-lunch-snack-dinner to brunch-snack-dinner-midnight lunch. My sleeping time evolved from 10 in the evening to two in the morning. It has become a routine and somehow, I don't find any boredom (probably, the funny essays keep me up haha!)
One of the best things about the PM shift is that I am not challenged in spending money after work. Of course, malls are closed around midnight. Our building is actually near Ayala malls and that surely is a huge temptation.
But I used to always be a morning person. I love watching prime time shows, hanging out at malls (though I still do this everyday before work,) meeting friends in the evening, and doing a lot of stuff. I was used to getting up in the morning. It was no problem for me because when I wake up during those times, I felt the obligations I had for that day and those move me off the bed.
The fun thing about the night shift is not getting up early. Especially, this season. Mornings are still cold and whatever time I get up, I find no need for haste. It's fun; I get to extend my trip to dreamland.
But then, I realized: I can do more if I work in the morning. Imagine the longer time I can possess in the afternoon if I work in the AM shift. There are also jobs that I want to do in the afternoon like becoming a freelance writer. It's my dream. Imagine the time I can have for hanging out with friends in the afternoon and evening. Imagine... Imagine... Gotta stop imagining fora while.
There isn't any available slot for the AM shift. And even if there is, others are racing for it. I don't like being in the bandwagon most of the time. So for now, I enjoy pounding on the keyboards with the moon smiling above my head.
Happiness!
This is the first time that I go somewhere at night on a regular basis. When I heard that we will have morning and night shift, I had no complaints; I don't know how I do when the sun is already shining in the West and when the moon is flaunting in the bejeweled sky. Many people quit PM shift. That's why the morning shift is jam-packed with tutors while the evening contains easy-to-count sheep.
My body clock adapted the new schedule ever since the first day---I mean, afternoon. I would wake up around 9:30AM and have my brunch and then work, dinner, work, home, and stuff I do before sleep. My meals developed from breakfast-lunch-snack-dinner to brunch-snack-dinner-midnight lunch. My sleeping time evolved from 10 in the evening to two in the morning. It has become a routine and somehow, I don't find any boredom (probably, the funny essays keep me up haha!)
One of the best things about the PM shift is that I am not challenged in spending money after work. Of course, malls are closed around midnight. Our building is actually near Ayala malls and that surely is a huge temptation.
But I used to always be a morning person. I love watching prime time shows, hanging out at malls (though I still do this everyday before work,) meeting friends in the evening, and doing a lot of stuff. I was used to getting up in the morning. It was no problem for me because when I wake up during those times, I felt the obligations I had for that day and those move me off the bed.
The fun thing about the night shift is not getting up early. Especially, this season. Mornings are still cold and whatever time I get up, I find no need for haste. It's fun; I get to extend my trip to dreamland.
But then, I realized: I can do more if I work in the morning. Imagine the longer time I can possess in the afternoon if I work in the AM shift. There are also jobs that I want to do in the afternoon like becoming a freelance writer. It's my dream. Imagine the time I can have for hanging out with friends in the afternoon and evening. Imagine... Imagine... Gotta stop imagining fora while.
There isn't any available slot for the AM shift. And even if there is, others are racing for it. I don't like being in the bandwagon most of the time. So for now, I enjoy pounding on the keyboards with the moon smiling above my head.
Happiness!
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Rampa Mode
Group message. "Career." Rampa. Mode. Textivity. Now playing. Tag. Rules and regulations. Quit.
There are thousands of clans in the Philippines and I am ashamed to claim that I was in many of them when I was younger. Now that I am older and bolder, I came to thinking: Why are there clans?
Of course, I have to regain my memories regarding this issue so I have to join one, which I don't want to mention because the creativity in naming clans is too unflattering. And as a creature pretending to be a human to be able to gain data about terrestrial activities, I have made these observations when it comes to clan peeps:
1. They do not have real life. They live in the virtual world where they are the celebrities bu only hitting a few buttons on their mobile phones. They force you to send many group messages (even if your message is not really that important such as "rampa ko lang si Kiyeme at Chorva," or "I ate burritos for lunch.) They can terminate you if you don't meet the daily quota of GMs (group messages,) simply because they can simply because they have nothing else to do in real life while you are out there making the best out of it. Pity.
2. They terminate you when you are only there for textmates. Come on. What else are we joining clans for? We did not really join there to receive meaningless GMs or to join textivities that only induce libido of fellow members while silently screaming "I want sex now!"
3. Worthless people. Okay, it is too mean for me to say "worthless" but really, there are MILLIONS of members in clans who do not really have a good meaning for their lives. They are there to pass the time, send GMs a lot, and escape from reality. I remember one time when my best friend Judy countered this girl, named Fert (close to Fart,) who kept arguing with her. Fart seemed so brave and, well, pretty because she was a celebrity in the clan. But when we met her, she was like a dust that kept stalking us. I even whispered to Judy, "Was that really the girl who was arguing with you?" Haha! People are really more courages when it comes to text messaging.
4. Jejemons. WAAAAAAAH! I keep receiving those jejetexts that I almost threw my phone away. I wanted to tell them to go away, but I had to do it in a nicer way, "I have already quit. Please erase my number." Damn, they won't stop! Obviously, they got lesser brain cells to process even the most comprehensible terms. Arggggg!
5. Sex on phone. Grrrr! Are their lives really that miserable that they are content with booty calls (or in this case, we call it booty phone call)? I hate it when I receive messages like "Vito Cruz anyone?" "SOP?" "I'm horny." Please! I am, too! But, not with you, you....!!!!
But as part of my positivity campaign that I have started just a few sunny mornings ago, I will look at this in a sunny and fresh perspective: On a lighter note, I am so glad that I am able to share this information to the Unknowns. They will be so glad that I was able to take note of such sub-sub-subculture! Not much are there people who can provide such details and post it in their blogs (because they are not stupid enough like me to join clans.) Until then, we shall inherit the earth... soon!
There are thousands of clans in the Philippines and I am ashamed to claim that I was in many of them when I was younger. Now that I am older and bolder, I came to thinking: Why are there clans?
Of course, I have to regain my memories regarding this issue so I have to join one, which I don't want to mention because the creativity in naming clans is too unflattering. And as a creature pretending to be a human to be able to gain data about terrestrial activities, I have made these observations when it comes to clan peeps:
1. They do not have real life. They live in the virtual world where they are the celebrities bu only hitting a few buttons on their mobile phones. They force you to send many group messages (even if your message is not really that important such as "rampa ko lang si Kiyeme at Chorva," or "I ate burritos for lunch.) They can terminate you if you don't meet the daily quota of GMs (group messages,) simply because they can simply because they have nothing else to do in real life while you are out there making the best out of it. Pity.
2. They terminate you when you are only there for textmates. Come on. What else are we joining clans for? We did not really join there to receive meaningless GMs or to join textivities that only induce libido of fellow members while silently screaming "I want sex now!"
3. Worthless people. Okay, it is too mean for me to say "worthless" but really, there are MILLIONS of members in clans who do not really have a good meaning for their lives. They are there to pass the time, send GMs a lot, and escape from reality. I remember one time when my best friend Judy countered this girl, named Fert (close to Fart,) who kept arguing with her. Fart seemed so brave and, well, pretty because she was a celebrity in the clan. But when we met her, she was like a dust that kept stalking us. I even whispered to Judy, "Was that really the girl who was arguing with you?" Haha! People are really more courages when it comes to text messaging.
4. Jejemons. WAAAAAAAH! I keep receiving those jejetexts that I almost threw my phone away. I wanted to tell them to go away, but I had to do it in a nicer way, "I have already quit. Please erase my number." Damn, they won't stop! Obviously, they got lesser brain cells to process even the most comprehensible terms. Arggggg!
5. Sex on phone. Grrrr! Are their lives really that miserable that they are content with booty calls (or in this case, we call it booty phone call)? I hate it when I receive messages like "Vito Cruz anyone?" "SOP?" "I'm horny." Please! I am, too! But, not with you, you....!!!!
But as part of my positivity campaign that I have started just a few sunny mornings ago, I will look at this in a sunny and fresh perspective: On a lighter note, I am so glad that I am able to share this information to the Unknowns. They will be so glad that I was able to take note of such sub-sub-subculture! Not much are there people who can provide such details and post it in their blogs (because they are not stupid enough like me to join clans.) Until then, we shall inherit the earth... soon!
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